


8

by poppysmc (dashboardconfessions)



Category: PlayChoices, Queen B (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Written post chapter 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26281171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dashboardconfessions/pseuds/poppysmc
Summary: My first fanfic. Sorry English is not my first language.
Relationships: Poppy Min-Sinclair/Main Character (Queen B)
Kudos: 20





	1. Just The Girl

**_She’s cold and she’s cruel but she knows what she’s doing  
Knows just what to say, so my whole day is ruined_ **

* * *

“There’s the newbie.” Whispers greeted her the first time she stepped through Belvoire University. She looked up at the tall buildings, imposing facades and impossibly white walls. This will be her new home for four years.

“She’s really not that impressive.” She heard a girl whisper.

“Off brands. Disgusting.” Another chimed in.

She walked faster, as she hears different voices finding lots of things that are imperfect about her. “Are they talking about me?” Morgan thought as she walked through the quad. She looked down at what she’s wearing. “Did I get a stain on my shirt?” 

Gawks and whispers follow her as she went by.

Her thoughts were interrupted when a girl screamed like a banshee. Morgan looked up startled.

“Where is my coffee? You know I need my coffee.”

The other girl looked terrified. 

“You’re a three digit, you serve me.”

Finally, Morgan sees the source of the ruckus. A fuming blonde girl glared and barked.

“B-but Poppy didn’t say to get you one.” The terrified girl stammered.

“I’m second, I always get my coffee.” Miss entitled spat out.

Morgan stopped walking, gaping at the exchange. Her eyes darting back and forth between the two. “Are all the people here like this? Why isn’t anyone paying attention?” Morgan wondered, looking around.

Then finally, the girl noticed her and glared at Morgan. “Why don’t you just take a picture newbie? Why are you staring?”

Frowning, Morgan looked her in the eyes and said calmly. “You know maybe if you’re nicer, people would be more likely buy you coffee.”

The girl laughed, looking at her incredulously. “Do you know who I am little miss nobody?”

“Obviously not. I don’t care for the names of bullies.” Morgan started to turn, showing disinterest in whatever she would say.

Annoyed, the blonde girl grabbed her elbows, fingers digging deeply. “I’m Chloe St. James, ranked second. Don’t you dare turn your back on me farm hand.”

“Let go or lose it, Barbie. Does it look like I care who you are?” Morgan grabbed the assailant’s wrist in a firm grip. _All those years of self-defense may come in handy after all._ As she prepared to rip the girl’s arms off her elbows, someone cleared their throat.

“Oh sweetheart, she’s not the one you should be worried about.” Another girl sauntered to where they are. Her voice is saturated with confidence and privilege, commanding attention no one dared to deny.

_This is getting out of hand. Where are they coming from?_ Morgan thought as she sees the crowd clustering and slowly encircling them from all directions. The throng have their phones ready to record any altercations between the new girl and the Queen B.

She turned to see the new girl who spoke. Her eyes narrowed and looking at Morgan like she’s nothing but filth beneath her jewel encrusted stilettos, her strawberry blonde hair glinting in the sunlight. She is stunning in every sense of the word, if not for the scowl on her face you’d think she’s an angel.

Finally looking at her, Morgan paused and could only think of one thing. “Oh no, she’s hot.” She’s always had a weakness for pretty girls and she’s beyond beautiful, she’s a goddess.

“Speak up Farmsville. I can’t hear you.” Poppy spat out.

Flustered that she may have voiced thoughts out loud, Morgan countered, not one to back down. “What? You think you scare me?”

“I can step all over you. I’ll be your first and last memory of Belvoire.” Poppy replied smiling devilishly, getting in her face.

“Really? Is that a promise?” Morgan stepped closer as well, never one to be intimidated. The air is beginning to get charged with something heavy and palpable. A meeting of sorts, an unstoppable force versus an immovable object. The crowd back away slightly.

Poppy crosses her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows in disbelief. Rolling her eyes, she jabbed a finger to Morgan’s chest. “Listen Farmsville, know your place, and I for one know, Belvoire is not it. You will always be poor in places that matter.”

“You don’t threaten me, love. Just because you’re rich, you think your above all of us.” Furious, Morgan got into her face, a little bit of her Midwestern accent seeping in her voice.

“Ohhh! Pop, you finally got competition.” Michael, another of Poppy’s minions spoke, amused at their discussion.

“Shut up, Michael.” She snarled.

Poppy paused, looking Morgan from head to toe. “Don’t make me laugh. I’m Poppy Min-Sinclair, I’m the queen of this school. No one crosses me and gets away with it.” Poppy sent a glowering look in her direction.

“Oh will you look at that, time to go Morgan.” A girl drags her by the hand and before her brain can catch up, they were already running. They leave Poppy staring after them, seething.

They run through the crowd into an imposing building. She noticed this place before, she thinks it’s the girl’s dorm, it’s a lot different from the brochures. It’s an enormous renaissance building, out of place in the masses of contemporary architecture of the university. The girl opens the door and they enter.

“Uhm… where are we?” Morgan finally looks up at her, still breathing heavily. “And who are you.”

“I’m Zoey Wade, your new best friend and the one who just saved you from digging your grave any deeper. I’m a room over.” She points to the room besides the one Morgan assumes is hers. Still catching her breath, she leads her inside the room.

Morgan glances at her saviour. “Thanks, Zoey. But what was that? Is there a caste system in this school? Some girl claims she’s the queen.”

“That’s because she is, she’s the Queen B, look.” She pulls up her phone so I can see the page. “So this is the T, student gossip and ranking page. And right now you are front page news.” Zoey informs her, looking at her with something akin to pity.

She took Zoey’s phone and scrolled through the rankings. Seeing her name at the bottom, her background and home town plastered in the front page.

“There’s Poppy ranked number one.” Scrolling all the way to the top, a gorgeous photo to come with the territory. “And you just crossed her. The ones who did that before either got expelled or dropped out entirely.”

The look of disbelief and a bit of fear crosses Morgan’s eyes. _But I just got here, and just when I thought I was going to have a new start._ She thinks to herself, a bit wary that she may be already on her way out the exit before she even unpacked her bags.

“You could always apologize.” Zoey grimaces, not even believing her own words.

“I would never. Ughhh… After all I’ve been through to get here… I hate her stupid gorgeous face.” She thumps her head softly against the wall. “I think I need a drink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first fanfic. Sorry English is not my first language.


	2. She's So Mean

**I know a girl. She gets what she wants all the time ‘Cause she’s fine.  
But for an angel, she’s a hot, hot mess, Make you so blind But you don’t mind **

* * *

That afternoon, Zoey takes her to an inconspicuous place downtown. The façade was covered in ivy and if she’s being honest? really boring.

“Where are we going? This place seems to be a bit-” Morgan started to ask but before she can finish, Zoey waves her off smiling and crosses the street to the shop.

“The charm is all inside and the best part is, it’s somewhere even Poppy doesn’t have power over. It’s nice to be around people who don’t kiss her spoiled ass all day.” Zoey replied, opening the door to an exclusive looking speak easy.

“I could use some time away from her and school and lay low a bit.” Morgan thumps her head at the table.

They ordered a much needed drink. Morgan was starting to get a headache, the thoughts and her actions previously are catching up to her and she cringed.

_God, what did I do?_ Mentally slapping herself for being too tactless.

* * *

The next day, after her first classes. Morgan meets up with Zoey for lunch.

Zoey hands her a burrito bowl.

“I know a way to up your rank.” Zoey tells her.

“Yeah? What do I have to do?” Morgan sat a bit straighter, clearly interested.

Zoey beamed at her enthusiasm. “There’s a frat party tonight. Poppy’s sure to be there, you can show her up.”

“Really? Those frat boys look crummy.” She says glancing at the boy’s table clearly repulsed. “They’re eating some chips off the ground.”

“I know right? But most of them have high ranks. We’re technically not invited though, but no one kicks out a well-dressed girl in a party.” Zoey grins at her.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Zo.” Morgan hesitates.

Zoey waves her off and drags her to the dorms anyway.

Later that night after several outfit changes. They finally settled on a crop top showing a thoroughbred logo and a varsity jacket to complete the look.

“Boys go wild for school spirit.” Zoey states as she touches up their makeup.

“Will she really be there?” Morgan asks her. Checking if maybe she’s coming off a little too interested in Poppy, she looks up at Zoey.

“Yeah, that’s her scene, surrounded by her popular lackeys.” She looks at her masterpiece.

“Come on let’s go. If you’re that eager to see her again.” Zoey laughs at the look of surprise in Morgan’s face.

She looks at her knowingly. “Look Morgan you’re really not that subtle. I saw the look on your face when you first saw Poppy.” I don’t blame you she’s practically perfect, but your choice of personality is- well- uhhh… You know a bit shitty, if I’m being honest.

“I know but I’m soft for pretty girls.” Morgan muttered, relieved that Zoey understands.

* * *

When they walked through the house, the party’s already in full swing. Red beer cups in hand, most of the guests are a little bit drunk. They stop at the backyard, seeing this is where the highlight is.

“Jello pool? What is this party?” Morgan asks Zoey as a guy jumps from the roof, he lands with a splat, splashing Jello everywhere.

“Honestly, I prefer this over last year’s.” Zoey whispered to her. “It was pudding hot tub last time. It’s their idea of fun, but really disgusting.” She shudders.

“Hey, you’re not invited.” Michael walks over to them.

“Busted.” Morgan whispers to Zoey.

“Don’t worry, I got this.” She replies.

“Michael are you seriously gonna kick Morgan out? She’s here to show you how to party in Farmsville.” Zoey says looking at her with a wink.

She stares at Morgan pointedly seeing the look of panic in her face. _“Get that Midwestern charm out.”_ Zoey mouths.

Morgan smiles at him, laying it on thick with her charm. Finally getting a look at her outfit, he smiles and motions them to pass. “Well, I won’t kick out a girl with that ensemble.”

“Thanks Michael.” Morgan beams at him.

She looks around for any sign of Poppy. _Not here yet, huh? Pity_. _This party will be more bearable with her pretty face to look at._

Unbeknownst to her, Poppy looks at her up from the house with a mixture of annoyance and a bit of delight.

* * *

**Poppy POV**

She was not enjoying parties like this, it was too loud, but being the queen, she’s expected to be here and socialize with her crowd.

She almost leaves after letting her presence be known. She looks down and catches sight of Morgan. “Interesting.” She thought and smirked. “Maybe I’ll stay after all.”

_What even am I doing, why am I thrilled that she’s here_. Poppy schools her features to an impassive look.

She sees her playing by flip cup with the boys. “She’s really pretty, I hate her.” She mutters to herself as she starts to walks toward her.

When the game is over, she walks over. The table immediately hushes. Morgan turns and sighs, catching sight of her.

Poppy smirks and saunters to her. Stopping in front of her, she sneers. “Oh good, the boys are already doing their charity work for the year.”

“What’s your deal Poppy? Why do you have to be bitchy all the time?” Morgan bristles as she stares down at her, a little bit tipsy.

She sees that she’s getting to her, she steps even closer. Looking up at Morgan like she’s beneath her, even though she’s a couple inches shorter.

“My deal is you not knowing your place.” Another step.

“I was actually wondering when you’d show up and suck the air out of the room dementor.” Morgan counters, also stepping closer.

“That’s not nice, my grandmother had that and it’s not pretty.” Chloe pipes up, offended. Everybody laughed at her.

“Seriously? Shut up, Chloe!” She stares her down. Chloe blushes, incredibly embarrassed.

“I see you’re already making friends above your station. If you’d step away from the deadweight maybe you and I can be good friends.” She gestures at Zoey. Okay so maybe she’s coming off really eager and she’ll admit a bit jealous. But she won’t let it show and instead smiles.

“She’s better than you in every way.” Morgan angrily says, Poppy getting under her skin.

Morgan challenges her to say something offensive one more time as she stands to her full height, stepping even closer to her until they’re face to face.

“I- I…” Poppy’s breath catches.

* * *

“Hold that thought.” They both turn to look at Ford, the moment already cut short. He runs full speed to the jello pool. Jello pieces fly out in all directions, Poppy shrieks as some of it lands on her cheek, hastily stepping away.

_She’s really cute. If only she’s not being such a bitch_. Morgan thinks to herself.

The other guys started jumping to the jello pool as well.

“Come on Pop, jump in.” One of them says.

She glares at the guy, he shrinks and slinks away.

“Hey Morgan, jump in. You’re cool.” Luis shouts over Ford.

“Sure. Let’s go love.” Morgan says as she smirks at Poppy.

Flustered by the term of endearment. “W-Why would I-” Before Poppy can finish her sentence Morgan shoves her to the pool, then dives after her.

She hears Poppy going on about her outfit not being jello friendly.

“Jello World!” She splats face first into the jello. Sending even more chunks flying at Poppy. The boys lose their minds.

Meanwhile, Poppy is flopping about in the jello. Morgan chances a look at her. She laughs as she sees her covered in lumps of jelly, fuming.

“There’s jello in every crevice of my body.” Poppy says disgusted and practically malfunctioning.

Morgan swims over. As well as you can in a viscous fluid. Scooping a handful, she shoves it in Poppy’s top.

She immediately stiffens and indignantly looks at Morgan. Her face is getting redder. Morgan steps back, clearly sensing the rage radiating off her. Her minions hovering over at the edge of the pool reaching for her hand.

“She screams and stomps off. Her minions tripping over themselves after her.

“Whoo, crisis averted. I thought she’s gonna kill me.” Morgan smiles as she pulls herself up the pool next to Zoey.

Zoey looks at her meaningfully and tsks. “You really pissed her off, you better watch your back, she really might kill you.”

As she says that, notifications pop around us. “Oh no.” She reads the T.

“What?” Morgan peeks at her phone seeing the story. Someone accused her of cheating to get in Belvoire.

She receives an email from the dean. She reads it and she pales.

“Busted!” One of the guys turns to her.

“I never cheated in my life.” Morgan defends herself.

Chloe steps to closer to her. Delight clear in her face, gauging Morgan’s reaction.

“Let me guess you’re behind this.” Morgan glowers at her.

“Well duh! You ready to leave now?” Chloe smirks at her.

“You’re so dumb to do this yourself.”

“This isn’t cool Chloe; Poppy would never want you to do this.” Carter, one of Chloe’s posse chimes, stepping closer to shield her from the atrocity that is Chloe.

The frat guys surround her like a shield.

“What the hell, Carter! Are you taking her side now?” Chloe screams, but seeing as she’s outnumbered and booed, she stomps away.

“It’s okay Morgan, we’ll find a way out of this.” Zoey lays her hand on her shoulder.

“I think I’m ready to go home, I’ll take a walk to clear my head.” Morgan smiles sadly.

“Want me to come with?” Zoey turns back to the house to grab her jacket.

“No, I want to be alone for a bit, thanks though, Zo. Enjoy the party. See you tomorrow.” Morgan says as she walks to clean off the jello left on her clothes.

* * *

It started raining hard in the middle of her walk to the dorms. Morgan walks along the campus and sees an open coffee shop tucked in the wall. She waits out the rain.

“When she gets near her room, she sees a lone and miserable figure at the end of the hall, sitting dejectedly and sighing.

Morgan walks over and sees her. The figure looks up.

“Poppy?” Morgan asks in surprise.


	3. Out of My League

**_All the times I have sat and stared  
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair  
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes, and she plays with me  
Sitting there, slacked-jaw and nothing to say _ **

“Poppy?”

She just stares at Morgan in shock, eyes a little bit red. She hurriedly wipes her eyes with her sleeves.

“W-What do you want newbie.” Poppy stammers, avoiding her eyes.

“Uh, this is my room.” She points to the door to her right. “Are you okay?” She sets her things down near her door and kneels down in front of Poppy, feeling bad.

_Why am I feeling like this, she’s a horrible person, right_ ? She thinks to herself. _But she’s so sad. I can’t take it._

“You look like shit, Poppy.” Morgan jokes and looks her over, seeing little jello pieces all over her, she’s soaked and shivering a bit. Morgan feels slightly guilty, seeing her miserable.

“Thanks a lot.” She sneers.

“Why are you here? Morgan asks suspiciously.

“ _Imlockedoutofmyroom_.” She mumbles.

“Huh?” She asks confused.

She gestures to the door near her. “I’m locked out. I forgot my key, and Benji’s gone out.” She replies.

“Where are your minions? Can’t you stay with them?” She asked.

“No, I won’t ask them for help, I never beg.” She says haughtily, then sighs, finally telling the truth. “Veronica and Chloe live off-campus.”

She laughs at the admission. “Come on. You’ll get sick here.” She stands up, and offers her hand for Poppy to take.

Poppy looks at her hands skeptically, but after a few seconds, she takes it with slight hesitation.

She pulls her up. Knees weak from sitting too long, Poppy stumbles. Morgan catches her by the elbow, her cheeks grazing Morgan’s chest.

Poppy hastily steps away from her. She hopes the hallway lights are dim enough to hide her blush.

Too late, Morgan catches her blushing, she smirks. “If you’re that desperate to be close to me, I won’t complain.” She steps closer to her, trapping her between the wall and her body. Poppy reddens even more, she scowls and pushes her away. “I changed my mind. I’m staying here.”

“I’m kidding. Come on.” Laughing Morgan takes her hand and leads her inside. 

* * *

“Pops, why don’t you sit over here by the counter. I’ll run you a bath.” Morgan says softly, back already turned.

“Stop calling me that.” Still, she does what she’s asked. She looks around seeing the décor, mostly black and neutral tones with multiple shelves of books and vinyls over the wall of the living room.

_Odd, I never thought her room would look like this. It doesn’t match her personality at all_. Poppy thinks to herself as Morgan busies herself.

She comes back minutes later. “The bath’s ready, I left the towel at the counter. I’ll look for something “acceptable” for you to wear.” Morgan grins at her.

Feeling out of her element, Poppy walks over and silently follows Morgan to the bathroom. She enters and closes the door, leaving her at the mercy of her thoughts.

_Why would she do this? Is there an ulterior motive? Maybe she’s plotting something._ Her mind struggles to find any rhyme or reason for Morgan’s actions.

While Poppy’s in the bath, Morgan looks for clothes that will fit her. After deciding, she knocks.

“Uhm- Where do I leave these clothes Pop?” She asks hesitantly, not wanting to invade her privacy.

“The counter is fine.”

Morgan shields her eyes as she leaves the clothes at the counter.

Poppy sees her shielding her eyes, her ears tinged red. She chuckles to herself.

* * *

Morgan mentally prepares herself. _What am I doing, letting her in here? If she destroys your things Morgan, it’s on you._ Morgan chides herself.

She proceeds to prepare dinner. “Pasta’s fine. I’m hungry. Why do I care whether she likes it or not?”

Minutes later, Poppy pads over to the kitchen. Morgan turns, sensing her. “Poppy are you-” She stops, mouth hanging open. She stares at her, face free of any make up and looking vulnerable. Her hoodie’s too big for Poppy, it goes down a bit before her knees.

“Beautiful.” She whispers softly.

Poppy barely catches the words, she blushes and turns away.

Wait, did she say the earlier part out loud. _She looks good in my clothes_. She thinks. 

“D-do you want dinner? I made some pasta.” Morgan recovers, reprimanding herself for staring too long.

“Please. Thank you.”

“Please? What have you done with the evil queen?” Morgan laughs, used to hearing cruel things come out of her mouth.

Poppy glares at her, a scowl already marring her flawless face. Morgan backs away, hands gestured in surrender.

“Here help yourself. I’ll just take a quick shower.” Morgan walks away, buying time to process her actions and assess her frame of mind. 

* * *

She comes back a few minutes later. She sees Poppy exploring her collections and reading the titles of her books. _She looks like she belongs here._

“Did you eat?” She asks her.

“No, Let’s eat together.” Poppy smiles softly at her.

“Uh- S-sure. That’s fine, I guess.” Flustered, she turns to prepare their meal.

They ate in silence. After the meal, Morgan hands her a slice of cake for dessert. 

“So, do you eat this whole cake all by yourself? That’s sad, even for you.” Poppy remarked. There’s no malice in her words, she’s teasing. She delicately takes a bite.

Laughing, Morgan flicks her gently on the forehead. 

“Hey! Stupid.” She rubbed her forehead.

“I was gonna eat it alone, but we can share it. It may even take away some of the bitterness of your soul.”

Morgan ducked as Poppy flicked some of the icing at her.

Still laughing, Morgan stood up and cleared the table when they’re done.

Poppy checked her phone, and frowned at the text. “I can’t believe Benji’s still not here. I’m gonna kill him when I see him.”

“You could watch a movie, or something, if it keeps you from murdering someone.”

They sat at the couch and watched several movies. Who knew Poppy has a soft spot for Disney movies? They’re almost at the end. { _Stitch: This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good.}_

_  
_ Morgan turns to Poppy to say something, she was surprised by the tears in her eyes, she’s bundled in blankets and fiddling with the strings of her hoodie. “Hey, are you okay?” She asks her reluctantly. _Since when did she look so small?_

She turns away, embarrassed by her tears. Morgan reaches for her and gently pulls her into her arms. She lays her head in the crook of Morgan’s neck. Tears still streaming down her face, she lets herself be soothed by her warmth, feeling the rise and fall of her breathing, calming her. Morgan comforts her, rubbing small circles on her back, not saying anything.

After Poppy stopped crying, she looks down, surprised that their faces are inches apart, she freezes. Poppy leans in and closes the distance.

Time stops when their lips meet, Morgan’s brain stopped working. After a few seconds of her brain trying to catch up, she responds to the kiss fervently . Everything she could sense coalesce into a unique sensation that is Poppy Min Sinclair. Her mind clouds, losing herself at the feel her soft lips, the small sounds she makes and her hands in her hair, pulling her closer, she can still taste the salt from her tears.

In that instant, nothing else matters, but the girl in her arms. Poppy settles in her lap as they continue to be lost in each other. Morgan cups her cheeks and peppers kisses on her jaw. She tilts her head up and slowly traces a path down her throat, Poppy pulls her head up and captures her lips, she kisses her deeply and passionately. They break apart for air, still wrapped up in one another. 

With a look of panic in her face, she suddenly jumps away from Morgan, as if burned, she comes to her senses,remembering where she was. Moment already broken, they stay silent for a while, Morgan still dazed, processing what had just occured.

Morgan decides to break the silence. “Poppy, what was that?”

Poppy can’t look her in the eyes. Fear and uncertainty plays across her face. “I - I don’t know; can we please pretend it didn’t happen.”

Morgan frowns and tries to reach for her, but she moves away. She felt stupid for expecting something to come out of it. _It was just a sudden lapse of judgement. Poppy was vulnerable and I took advantage of the moment. God what did I do?_ Morgan berates herself, all the while, the feeling of Poppy’s soft lips is still lingering upon hers. 

They stay quiet. Staring at the TV as it continues to play, but their minds are elsewhere. Poppy eventually falls asleep. Morgan smiles, studying her features more freely, she looks peaceful and younger, free from pressure and expectations.

“Breathtaking.” Morgan whispered reverently. _I wonder if I’m the only one who gets to see her like this?_

In that moment she finally acknowledges the intense craving nestled in the depths of her heart. Some part of her had always sought the kind of intimacy and affection born from a kindred soul. 

She begins to fall.

Feeling like she’s intruding on her privacy, she carries Poppy to the bedroom to sleep. She walks back out and settles on the couch. She stared at the ceiling, still wide awake, accompanied by her conflicting thoughts. Unable to find reprieve, she forces her eyes closed. After a few difficult hours, she finally succumbs to sleep, the last image on her mind is clear and her face haunts her dreams.

In the other room, Poppy lies awake, still thinking about the kiss, Morgan’s actions and her whispered words when she thought that she was asleep. Her thoughts are in chaos, her mind clashes with her heart. 

* * *

In the morning, Morgan realizes that Poppy’s already gone _._ She goes on with all her normal tasks. _How can she spend her time doing something mundane, when Poppy had crashed through her like a hurricane._

Morgan hurries to her classes. She sees Poppy in the hall, she smiles at her, last night’s image of her soft and unguarded flashes in her mind. Poppy just breezes past, completely ignoring her, she shows no acknowledgement of the night before. All Morgan sees is her armor, old and jagged, but steadfast, the one she’s always worn.

She could do nothing but stare after her, heart constricting in her chest. Morgan walks in the opposite direction, one step after another, deflated and tired, she was out of orbit. Last night was just a flaw, a chink in Poppy’s armor, and for a moment she thought she could be the one to break through her walls. She can feel herself falling for miles and miles, utterly helpless.


	4. Stubborn Love

**_It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all_ **

**_The opposite of love’s indifference_ **

**_So pay attention now_ **

**_I’m standing on your porch screaming out_ **

**_And I won’t leave until you come downstairs_ **

Things were still tense between Poppy and Morgan, they barely see each other. The crowd waiting for daily bitch fests dwindled, until everybody moved on, their clashes fade into obscurity.

Whenever their paths do cross, which is seldom in itself, Poppy ignores her. Her life goes back to normal.. She kind of misses the way things are between them before, at least then she acknowledges her, she had something to look forward to.

She tries to go back and dig through all their interactions, wondering where her feelings could have stemmed from. _She was nothing but horrible to her, right?_ Maybe all of these were delusions of a yearning heart. She could have made it all up in her head, a version of her that didn’t exist, and could never exist. But all of it pulls her back into that night, a single moment in which Poppy allows her a glimpse of her true self. She held her thoughts captive and permeated her dreams, until she could no longer think and she becomes unravelled.

She could have lived her whole life without knowing the tenderness hidden beneath Poppy’s skin, how soft her lips were or how she felt when she held her. How could she forget the desperate cling of her hands at the back of her neck, urging her closer and closer, until all that could be felt were the rhythms of their hearts, that’s all she thinks about lately. Now that she felt what it was like, it’s been haunting her, taunting and refuses to release it’s hold over her.

She walked without purpose, thoughts of her still plaguing her. She needed closure, one moment of unrehearsed and unrestrained truth, just one, then she can move on with her life, whatever the outcome.

* * *

It has been a few weeks since that night. Her opening comes in the form of Chloe; the push she didn’t know she needed.

That morning, she was eating her lunch by the benches. A shadow looms over her. She sighs, not even bothering to look at the person, hoping they’d just leave her alone.

“Morgan we need to talk.” Chloe approaches her, hands crossed.

“What do you want Chloe? Can’t you see I’m busy here.” Eyes narrowed, Morgan stabs at her lunch repeatedly. People begin staring, tense and waiting for something to happen.

Chloe looks at her plate and scoffs. “You’re maiming your lunch, you’re not busy.” She looks around and sees that they’re slowly but surely attracting attention. She drags Morgan to a private spot, under the bleachers. “I know it’s your fault, ever since that party, Poppy’s been different.” She hisses at Morgan, but a hint of concern is reflected in her eyes. “What did you do?” 

“I didn’t do anything. She barely looks at me, it’s like I don’t even exist.” Morgan sighed.

Chloe glares at her. “Enough, you’re being pathetic. Just tell me.”

Morgan just stared at her pained, thinking of what to say. A soft look crosses her face, thinking of how vulnerable Poppy was that night.

Chloe’s eyes widen in realization. “No way! You like her!” 

Surprised, she covers Chloe’s mouth with her hands. “Stop, I don’t. How can you even- I never- just leave me alone, Chloe.” She starts to walk away. 

Chloe grabs her arms, grinning, finally shedding some light on the situation. “This is why she’s being weird.” She stares at her and laughs. “You two are idiots.”

Morgan huffs. “Look Chloe, I don’t have time for your absurd epiphanies. I’m leaving.” She tries to walk away again but Chloe corners her, blocking her path.

“Morgan look, Poppy’s my best friend. Please do me a favor and speak to her.” Chloe becomes serious.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. She already hates me.” Morgan says softly.

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe she doesn’t? Poppy was never one to express her feelings. I was surprised the first time you got her riled up. She never loses her cool, ever.”

Morgan just looks at Chloe impassively.

_“A_ s much as I want to, I don’t want to make Poppy feel like I’m forcing anything on her.” Morgan says dejectedly. “And I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Come on, aren’t you curious? You owe it to yourself to know. You’ll regret it if you won’t even try, all the what-ifs will consume you. _Maybe she makes sense… sometimes._

“Just do your stupid Morgan things. She seems to be affected by that, if you don’t pursue her, you’ll both get nowhere, she’s stubborn like that. Think about it, and find me if you’re in over your head and need my expertise. But if you hurt her Morgan, I swear I’ll make your life a living hell.” Chloe’s eyes are narrowed at the last part. She leaves her, still thinking of what to do.

* * *

She asks Zoey for advice.

“Confront her. I hate to admit it but Chloe’s got a point.” Zoey says over a bite of her dinner.

“Were you even listening to what I was saying?” Morgan says miserably, pushing her food around.

“Of course. Just go over, and say you like her. Easy peasy. She already kissed you, even you can’t be that dense.”

“About what? You’re no help at all.”

Zoey sighs. “She likes you already, Just go for it, thank me later.”

* * *

Next morning.

Morgan spots her walking down the hall. Seeing that there are just few scattered students. She decides to just go for it.

She pulls Poppy’s arms gently, as she walks by, she reverses their positions and pins her to an alcove. “Hi love.” She says with a smirk; she leans into Poppy’s personal space. “Your avoidance tactics are top notch.” She’s thankful that her voice never wavered.

Poppy squeaks in surprise from being pinned to the wall. Blushing furiously, she tries to wiggle out of Morgan’s hold. “Don’t flatter yourself Morgan, I’m not avoiding you. Let go of me.”

Morgan steps back a little, giving her room to breathe, placing her hands on her shoulders loosely. “What? No nicknames? Now, I’m flattered.” She scans her for a short moment, noticing how she’s slowly getting redder, blush creeping up neck, her breathing is quickened, and she’s a little dazed .

She snaps out of it and realizes that some students are already starting to notice them. Morgan sighs and steps back. “I’ll see you later.” She says with a wink, then she walks away.

After she watches Morgan disappear into a corner, Poppy can finally breathe, calming her hammering heart. _What was that._ She hurriedly walks to class, hoping for no more surprise encounters, her heart can’t take anymore.

* * *

Poppy walks out of class with Chloe, who’s chatting her ear off. She looks to her right and sees Morgan, leaning against the wall. She glares at her and walks away hastily, leaving Morgan to scramble after her.

Morgan starts, seeing a flash of blonde hair, rapidly walking in the opposite direction. Chloe smirks, as she sees motions for her to go after Poppy. 

She finally catches up. _How can someone who’s in heels walk so fast._ “Hey, wait up.” Morgan breathes heavily. “Do you wanna have lunch? With me?”

“No. I don’t eat.” She tries to walk away again, only to be blocked by Morgan.

“Really, Pop? That’s the best you can do?” Morgan chuckles at the blonde’s feeble excuse.

“Morgan…” She tries to walk around her.

“Come on, there’s a little Italian place I know of. Isn’t it your free period after?” Morgan pleads with her to come with, walking by her side.

“This isn’t a good idea, Morgan” She sighs, stopping, knowing she can’t outrun her this time.

Morgan can hear the desperation in her voice, and her eyes shows an inkling of something else. “Please Poppy, can we talk at least?”

“Please Pop, give me a chance” Morgan whispers, looking at her with sad eyes.

“Okay, but not here. I’ll find you.” She sighs, finally relenting.

Morgan beams at her, filled with hope at finally gaining some progress, she laughs giddily. She takes Poppy’s hand and kisses her knuckles tenderly. She skips away, leaving a stunned girl in her wake.

* * *

Later that night, Poppy looks for Morgan, she enters the dorms and sees her hug Zoey and take her hands. She narrows her eyes. Rage boiling beneath her skin.


	5. Makeup Smeared Eyes

**_Somehow you have managed to get under my skin  
More than anyone ever did  
And if every hole makes a scar  
And every scar marks its place  
Then I will never live freely without your trace_ **

They break apart when they hear someone clear their throat. Morgan smiles when she spots Poppy, taking her hand gently.

“Hey Zo, catch you later.” Zoey winks at her.

Poppy bristles at their interaction. _She wants to talk but flirts with other girls in front of me._ A tendril of jealousy crept up her being, unknown and wild, she was never really the jealous type. She felt the need to clarify that fact to herself, convincing her brain that it must be something else.

“Are you ready to talk?” Morgan swallowed thickly, a bit nervous if she was being honest, but mostly relieved that Poppy actually kept her word.

“No. I think this conversation is over.” She tears her hand away from Morgan, venom dripping from her words as she heads to her room.

“What’s wrong? We were doing okay earlier.” Morgan says baffled, her hope was extinguished in an instant.

She fixes her with an irritated look. “Go away, Morgan. I’m tired.” She needed to go before she says something she’ll regret, like she always did when provoked. She hated that part of herself, but it was her defense mechanism, the only thing she was holding unto before Morgan trudged in and busted her heart wide open.

“Why are you pissed? Come on Pop, what’s wrong?” Poppy never bothered to reply, digging through her purse for her key. “Talk to me, please.” Her chest gets tight, she raises her voice helplessly, desperate for any trace of control. She was grasping for air at this point, even that is snatched away from her so brutally. She reaches for her hands, only for it to be slapped away.

“What gave you the right to raise your voice at me. Are you still hung up about that kiss, hmm?” She snaps. “Move on Farmsville, it meant nothing to me, it’s just a spur of the moment thing.” She was good at this; some can say she was even perfect at tearing other people down. She looked at the wreckage she caused, she was downright harsh. “What more do you want?”

An encompassing silence followed after, Morgan was too stunned to speak. It was like looking at a train wreck in slow motion.

Morgan swallows a lump in her throat. “I’m sorry. I just thought that-” She croaks out, stricken, unable to continue her thoughts, she felt feeble, reminded of her insignificance, like she always had been in Farmsville. She actually thought that this time would be different.

Seeing the look on Morgan’s face, she immediately regrets the words that spilled from her lips, but as always, she was powerless to stop it. Her walls celebrated in victory, as it remained unconquered. She felt infinitely cruel and in her triumph, the both of them lost.

She wanted to apologize, to take her hands and hold her, telling her it’s okay and she felt the same, but who would she be, if she apologized to everyone? Instead she says nothing. Pride was at the core of her being, ingrained in her by society.

Morgan sprints out of the building, running away from Poppy, from her feelings and everything in between. Her heart was burning, soon she was gasping for air. Everything hurts, and she was helpless as it crushes her beneath its feet.

She didn’t know how far she got, all that mattered was she could no longer see her. She knows she’s no good for her, but there was something that night that she was holding on to, and now it doesn’t matter.

She wished that they never crossed paths, that she didn’t get locked out of her room that night and that they never stopped antagonizing each other, maybe it’ll hurt less, not knowing. But all she can do is cry, she felt the loss for something that never existed. How can she go back, now that she got a taste of what could have been?

She spent a few hours walking around aimlessly, she goes back to her room eventually, exhaustion settles in her body. She shoots a longing look at Poppy’s door and for a moment she can almost imagine her waiting for her, but the hall is empty, she felt defeated as she heads to her room.

* * *

**POPPY POV**

She watches Morgan run away, guilt gnawing at her. She rushes out to follow after her, after a few moments standing stocked still. She looks around for any sign of where she went, but she sees none.

She walks back to her room, berating herself for her stupidity. _How could she do that to Morgan_. She remembers the look of giddiness on her face that morning. She justifies her actions, forcing herself to believe what she did was right.

After a few hours, she hears Morgan’s door close. She debates whether she should or shouldn’t knock at her door and apologize. Ultimately, her vanity won, she never begged anyone or ask for forgiveness. Something heavy settles in her stomach, but she convinces herself that she’s saving Morgan from all the trouble being with her will bring. She was too good, and her hands are dirty. It’ll save them both a world of hurt.

Her thoughts plague her all night, sleep evades her. Playing the scene over and over, until all she can see is the look of hurt and defeat in Morgan’s face.

* * *

In the following days and weeks. Morgan is actively avoiding her. Any flash of blonde hair or pink clothes, she would up and go. It still hurts, very much so. She can’t even fathom how she’ll make it through the year knowing they existed in the same place.

Zoey’s tries her best to distract her, with all the parties that Poppy will never be in, quiet bars and movie nights. No amount of distraction could ever take it away. She’s still unfocused, miserable and devastated.

After a month of moping around, she looks at Zoey, she was always worried, always looking at her like she’s some kind of fragile object on the verge of falling. She decides that she’s done with this feeling, so she pushes it down so it never reaches the surface.

She walks out of her room with a smile, though never reaching her eyes, but still it’s a start. She tries to be more outgoing and studying more. She tries to get her life back on track. At nights, she lost herself in all the parties and the drinking, knowing that all she ever does is numb her feelings, not healing.


	6. Roses and Butterflies

**_So I’ll waste these nights for a while_ **

**_But I’ll be holding onto you forever_ **

**_And this is where my heart is cold and torn_ **

**_As I hear the words you’re saying tonight_ **

**_I’m falling for them every single time_ **

A couple of months stretched like forever. She felt like being caught in a car wreck, the twisting metal biting her yielding flesh, it hurts beyond compare. It takes their breath away, when ultimately their path crosses once again.

Morgan climbed higher in the ranks. It doesn’t matter much anymore, at least to her, the only reason that she was even interested in these games was because of _her_. Eventually, she becomes a familiar face at parties, she does just about anything, as long as she forgets about her. When a new friend invites her to this party, she agrees without a second thought.

When she and Zoey arrived at the party, Morgan beelines for the drinks, dragging her along. Zoey warns her from drinking too much. She’s concerned that Morgan’s gone overboard with all her diversions. She felt her pain, a constant haze hanging over her, suffocating and seeking release.

“I’ll be okay. You worry too much.” She waves her off. She can’t burden Zoey with whatever she felt, it wasn’t fair, she can’t drag her only friend down with her. She played this pretense well, throwing herself with reckless abandon to the next thing that inhibits her emotions.

“Maybe this party isn’t such a good idea. You’ve been going at it constantly, for months. This isn’t you.” Zoey insists, looking at this creature of sorrow that has taken over her friend.

“I’m fine. People change, Zoey. Besides it’s Friday, we’re supposed to go out, like normal college students.” Morgan reassures her, a little peeved. Zoey can still see the lingering sadness in the corner of her eyes, so she doesn’t push the issue too much.

She walks away and greets her friends, participates in drinking games, losing herself and letting go. She’s drunk by the time the hour is up. She loses Zoey amongst the crowd.

“Hey, wanna dance?” Her thoughts are interrupted in the best way, when a beautiful stranger strides up and asks her for a dance.

“Sure.” Morgan agrees without thinking. For a moment, she’s reminded of her hair and her smile, she shakes her head and squashes all thoughts of her. The girl pulls her to the dance floor, a weak substitute for the exceptional woman that graced her thoughts.

“Nice party huh? I haven’t seen you around here before.” The stranger strikes up a conversation with her, pulling her closer, her hands draped on her shoulder, as they swayed to the music.

“Yeah, I would’ve remembered you.” She smiles, settling her hands on her waist. “I’m Morgan by the way.”

“Hayley.”

* * *

**POPPY POV**

She sees her first, the sudden sight of her was overwhelming, it made her heart wrench. She moved towards her instinctively, but she stops in her tracks, seeing someone beat her to it. She sees the girl whisper in Morgan’s ear, she nods and takes the girl’s hand, as she pulls her to the mass of writhing bodies.

She fumes, but she knows she has no right to be mad. She knows she already messed that up. All she can do is watch, as Morgan moved closer to the other woman, she bristled at the way she smiled at her. She felt the heat rising in her neck, from anger or hurt she didn’t know. _How could she have moved on so easily_ , when she was burning and drowning at the same time.

She can hear the cracks form in her mask, and the reinforced walls she built in Morgan’s absence tumbled down faster than she can blink. She knows it was well deserved, but it doesn’t hurt any less.

She decides to leave the party, giving Morgan her peace. Before she gets the chance, Chloe grabs her arm and pulls her to the bar.

She can’t help but still search for her through the crowd. _She’s still with that girl._ she sulks.

“Stop brooding, we’re here to have fun.” Veronica chides her, handing her a drink.

“Yeah let’s drink, forget about her, Poppy.” Chloe shouts over the music, Veronica glares at her.

The purpose of coming to this party is to try to get her mind off her, but it does nothing but remind her of Morgan. The universe must be playing a cruel trick on her, the object of her sadness is dangled before her eyes.

She takes the offered drink. Drowning her misery.

“ _Distract her, do something.”_ A frantic Veronica whispers to Chloe. Spotting Morgan amongst the crowd, being pulled in for a kiss.

Too late, Poppy already catches a glimpse of them kissing. She stands up and leaves, tears already forming in her eyes.

* * *

She chats and drinks with Hayley, for the better part of the night. Still oblivious that Poppy’s watching her.

She’s really drunk at this point and was looking around for Zoey. Hayley leans in while she’s distracted. She looks back and their faces are millimetres apart. Hayley closes the distance.

She froze, not reciprocating the kiss. Her head finally clears and she pushes her gently away. “I’m sorry.” she says guiltily, her heart wasn’t in it, as much as she wished it was.

“Oh! Do you have a girlfriend? I’m sorry.” Hayley asks her, embarrassed, already moving away from her.

“No, it’s just that.. I’m not looking for anything right now.” Morgan reassures her, feeling bad for giving her mixed signals.

“Huh, an ex then? Sorry I was caught up in the mo-” Hayley trails off, looking past her.

“Hey Morgan!” She turns and was met with a fist.

“Wha-” she clutches her left eye, her ears ringing.

Veronica holds Chloe back and Zoey rushes up to her. She and Hayley help Morgan up.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Chloe. You psycho.” Zoey glares at her, shielding Morgan. She stumbles, mind still catching up with the pain. All she could feel is the rush of blood in her head.

“What’s wrong? That asshole is going around kissing people, without a second thought about anyone getting hurt.” She counters, they’re beginning to get surrounded by a crowd.

“Let’s go Chloe, you’re making a scene.” Veronica scolds her and tries to drag her away, clearly mortified. _God, Poppy would be pissed. I’m too young to die._

“You four, get out. You’re ruining my party.” The host kicks them out.

They walk outside into the brisk night air, Morgan staggers along, one hand clutching Zoey’s arms and the other still holding her head. When they get to the street, Chloe immediately lunges for her again.

“What the hell?” Morgan backs away, confused and enraged.

Veronica drags Chloe back, putting more distance between them, while Zoey does the same for Morgan. trying their best to calm them both down.

“I told you I’ll make your life hell, if you ever do something to hurt her.” Chloe finally sheds light to her actions. She was gripping her hands, knuckles bruised.

“What do you mean? I did nothing.” Morgan pipes up, genuinely confused.

“Poppy saw you kissing that girl. I already gave you a chance to hide your stupid face the first time you hurt her, now you’ll pay.” Chloe tries to tear herself off of Veronica who’s holding her in an iron grip.

It’s been months since she last heard her name spoken out loud around her. She frowns, involuntarily remembering the face she tried so hard to forget. “Po- she was at the party?” She tries to act impassive but she felt her knees weaken and she sits at the hood of the car. She can barely say her name.

“She’s miserable! While you keep gallivanting and partying around, like you don’t even care.” Chloe screams at her.

Morgan laughs humourlessly. “So, now it’s my fault? She told me I didn’t mean anything to her.” She stares blankly at Chloe, keeping control of her emotions.

Zoey steps up and confronts Poppy’s minions. Glaring at Chloe as she speaks up. “You don’t know how much she’s gone through! She gave her space, what more do you people want? How dare you talk about how she got hurt, when Morgan was the one suffering from the fallout.”

“Enough, Zo. Let’s just go.” Morgan croaks out, the fight already seeping out of her.

“You haven’t been there. Tell your friend she has no power over Morgan anymore.” Zoey spat out, getting in their faces.

Chloe and Veronica looked surprised, but made no move to follow, as Morgan pulls Zoey back and they drive away.


	7. Hurt Me

**_Can’t look at you the same way, anticipatin’ heartbreak_ **

**_I’m puttin’ on a brave face to meet you in the same place_ **

**_Gotta let my mind find another space_ **

**_Cause I heard these scars never go away_ **

**_And now I’m runnin’ out of ways to numb the pain_ **

Morgan watches the buildings go by, as she leans her pounding head in the car window; the coldness of the glass is strangely comforting. _Chloe really did a number on her._ They drove in silence, with the exception of the radio droning out tacky love songs.

Zoey clutches her arms and aids her up the steps after their short drive, she’s still a little out of it. When they got near their hall, Morgan sees Poppy sitting by her door, head hung low, waiting for her.

She immediately bolts and releases herself from Zoey’s hold, she stumbles, underestimating how drunk she was and the weakness in her legs. She hits some of the railings along the way, still she barrels for the door, not stopping, she wanted to be anywhere but here.

Poppy looks up at the source of the noise, catching a glimpse of Morgan’s retreating back, she immediately rushes up to her feet to help. She tries to follow but she was blocked by Zoey, the shake of her head was enough to stop her. “I got this, I think you’ve done enough already.” She gives Poppy a filthy look.

Zoey finds her leaning at the side of her car. “Wanna drive around for a while and eat take out?” Zoey asks her, knowing exactly how Morgan is feeling, she’s been with her for the nights when she broke down. She nods and slides into the car. They drive around for a few hours, getting fast food in the middle of the night and sitting on the swings at an empty playground.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Zoey asks, hoping that Morgan will finally open up.

“No. Not today.” She stops and the scraping of the chains goes silent. “Let’s go home. Thank you for putting up with me, Zo.” She smiles at her sadly, standing up and heading towards the car.

“You’re my best friend Morgan, I’ll stick with you through everything.” Zoey bumps her shoulders, she knows that she’ll talk when she’s ready, they went on to buy some pain killers for her headache and they head home.

* * *

She looks around the hall, pulling Morgan along once she sees the coast is clear. She deposits Morgan on her couch with a bottle of water and painkillers. “Do you want me to stay?”

She shakes her head, making her headache even worse. “No, I’m fine Zo. I’m just going to sleep anyway.” She leans back on the couch, she felt overwhelmed and extremely tired.

“You can call me if you need anything. You know that right?” Zoey pats her head, looking at her with sympathy.

“Always. Stop stressing, you’ll get worry lines. Go sleep.” She is honestly thankful for the beautiful human being that is Zoey, whatever she did to deserve her, she’ll never know.

Zoey looks back at her, hands over her heart and gasps in mock indignation. “Then stop stressing me out. Rest up.” She chuckles and closes the door.

* * *

A few minutes after she leaves. Poppy comes out of hiding, she descends over her like an angel.

Morgan stares at the image before her, thinking that she’s still a little drunk. _I’m seeing things_. She stands up and walks to the bathroom. She kneels and empties the contents of her stomach. Poppy follows after her, sighing as she holds her hair back and rubs small circles on her back.

After she cleans up, she reaches for Poppy, fingers grazing her soft cheek. “Oh God, you’re real.” She whispers, dazed. She puts some distance between them, walking backwards until her back bumps into the counter.

Finally getting a clear view of her face, she’s taken aback by the bruise blooming around her eye. She leans her head to the left, trying to hide it. Poppy hesitantly steps forward, distressed, her cold hands gently tilting her chin up, examining her bruised eye. “Who did this?” She asks in an icy, clipped tone.

Morgan shivers a bit. “It doesn’t matter. How’d you get in here? Get out.” She seethes, reminded of what happened earlier. She tears her face away from Poppy’s grip,

“Morgan. Let me-” Her hands try to reach out for her but Morgan side steps her.

“Stop messing with my head, Min-Sinclair. Just get out.”

“Let me help you clean up.”

She just chuckles mirthlessly. “There’s nothing you can do. You can’t clean the pain away.”

“Please Morgan, give me a chance.” She mirrors her previous words at her.

“No, we’re over this, just let me go.” She starts to stumble towards her bedroom, hands clenched at her sides. She follows after her, too stubborn to leave. She knows that if she leaves now, it will be over, she can’t handle that.

“I’m sorry, I was stupid.” She says, breaking the silence. “I thought I was saving you from the pain of being with me. I realize now that I hurt you even more.” Her eyes are wet with unshed tears; she hugs her from behind, silently asking for forgiveness. Her tears leave a wet patch in Morgan’s shirt. She thankfully makes no move to leave, letting her lean into her, still sobbing.

When she pulls away, she turns and stares at Poppy impassively. “We’ve been here before, Pop. What changed?” This is the first time she saw Poppy lose control of her emotions ever since that night.

Her heart skips, hearing Morgan call her by that nickname, hope blooms in her chest. “I’m sorry, I thought I could get rid of what I feel for you. Seeing you with another woman hurt me more than you can imagine.

“That’s it?” she laughs mirthlessly. “I think it’s too late for that. Let’s just cut our loses while we’re still ahead.”

Poppy makes a motion to kneel. Morgan catches her elbows, pulling her up. “Don’t do this Poppy. This is beneath you.”

“Please Morgan. I’m sorry, I thought I spared you from all the trouble and the baggage that comes with me.”

“It was never about me.” Morgan snaps at her, letting her go. Poppy looks up at her, tears continuously streaming down her face. “Spare me? Are you serious? You’re just protecting yourself, you scared of getting hurt. You’re selfish and a coward, don’t pretend to know what’s best for me.” She walks closer to her. “How could you know? You ran at the first sign of vulnerability.”

“I was terrified, Morgan! I hate not knowing what’s next. You were a flaw in what was neatly laid out, you were elusive and unpredictable. Do you know how much you scare me?” Poppy’s lips trembles as she struggles to get the words out. “When I kissed you, it was simultaneously the best and the worst thing I ever did, I tried so hard to forget it and distance myself from you. I know I’ll hurt you eventually, but I couldn’t, even in my heart you were too stubborn to let go. I was so scared of letting you in, I’m afraid that when you finally see what I really am you’ll leave. People always leave.”

She stands still, her anger dissipating little by little, she finally understood the enigma that is Poppy, years and years of emotional mistreatment has become the core of her being. She was scared, she thought that she could make people stay with fear and displays of power. When she got jealous or scared, she goes back to her defense mechanism, pushing people away so they can never hurt her. She realized that she wasn’t the only one hurt by Poppy’s actions.

She lets go of the breath she’s holding, letting her anger go with it. “There are always sacrifices and risks that comes with letting people in, but if you let the unknown hold you back, you’ll never go anywhere. You don’t have to always be afraid of that, sometimes it can be rewarding too.” Morgan says softly, in understanding.

“You deserve better, Morgan. I can never be what you want. I get jealous easily, I’m manipulative and hurtful.” Poppy wipes her eyes, feeling spent. She’s rapidly closing up, rebuilding her walls.

Morgan grabs her hands, leading her to her bed and pulls her to her lap, embracing her tightly. “No. You don’t get to do this to me again.” She clutches her desperately, pleading not to be screwed over.

“All I ever wanted was you, I want to get to know you. So what, if we’re both messed up? We can learn and grow together.” She rests her cheek in the side of her head. “I may long for the Poppy you rarely let us see, but I also care for the person you are now, with all your flaws. You tore your way and made yourself a home in my heart.” She pauses, letting her words sink in.

“I can handle it, if you’ll just let me. Don’t shut me out Pop.” Morgan whispers softly in her ear.

Poppy could do nothing but silently weep, her hands clutching the front of Morgan’s shirt, hiding her face in the crook of her neck. This was the first time she felt wanted for who she was, not for what she could offer.

“Tell me what you want, I need to know so either way it goes, I can move on with my life.” She says softly, reassuring her and giving her a choice, one rarely offered to her, finally someone who asked if they could stay. A minute goes by, she’s still silent and Morgan’s heart drops.

In a barely audible voice against her neck, she mercifully whispers; _“I want you.”_

_“Then, you have me.”_ She kisses Poppy’s temple and she holds her closer, wishing for what little space between them to disappear, so she can hear the sound of her heart, the one that beats for her. 


	8. Edge of Desire

**_Don’t say a word, just come over and lie here with me_ **

**_Cause I’m just about to set fire to everything I see_ **

**_I want you so bad I’ll go back on the things I believe_ **

**_There I just said it, I’m scared you’ll forget about me_**

She felt exhausted from all the tears and the emotions that came spilling out of her. This is the most she’d opened up to someone, and she’s glad that in the end it’s Morgan. She felt relieved and lighter, like the weights on her shoulders were lifted and she was free.

“Stay with me tonight, Pop.” She whispers, as she wipes her tears away.

“Just tonight?” She teases her, she was still situated in Morgan’s lap. She kisses the side of her neck, delicately stroking her cheek with her thumb. “You can’t get rid of me anymore. Are you okay with that?”

“I want you. I’ll never let you go, not anymore.” She smiles at her softly, her eyes glistening with affection. Poppy felt the sincerity in her words, if she had tears to spare she might start crying all over again. All she could do is hold Morgan close and whisper all the things she failed to say before.

It had been a long day, now that the adrenaline was leaving her system, she felt the ache and the weariness in her body. Poppy slinks off her lap and lies down in her bed, looking intensely at her. She looked forward to having Poppy by her side. That makes her smile, she can scarcely believe it, this beautiful human being wanted her too.

“What? Why are you smiling?”

She shakes her head. “You’re beautiful.” Her voice was completely honest and full of adoration.

She laughs easily. “Shut up.” She smiles shyly and looks up at her “Do you mean it?”

“Of course.”

“Nobody called me that before, at least not without expecting something for me. People think I’m shallow, they give me empty words they think I want to hear. They call me hot and attractive, expecting me to have sex with them, taking advantage of me, when they sense I’m desperate for warmth. And the sad thing about that is I let them.” She smiles sadly. “That’s why I was cautious of you, Morgan.”

She kneels down in front of her, she felt livid, at all those who hurt her, made her feel broken and used. _That’s why she was always lashing out._ She wanted to protect her from this cruel world, to just take her and run away. She felt nothing but tenderness and awe for this brave woman bearing her soul to her. How long was it since she fully trusted someone, felt wanted or loved?

She takes her hands and leaves a soft kiss on the inside of her wrist. “You have no idea how fucking beautiful you are. I’m going to show you every day how lucky I am that you chose me.” Her voice was raw, she wanted to get through to her, her voice conveyed how desperate she was for her to know.

Poppy sits up, overwhelmed by the honesty and conviction of her words, and for the first time in a long time, she wanted to believe. She pulls her closer and kisses her, she was never good with words, so she let her actions speak for her. She wanted Morgan to feel how thankful she was and how much she cared for her.

* * *

“Pop, I’m going to take a shower. You can go change, just get whatever you want from my dresser, there’s an extra toothbrush in the bathroom.” 

She sees her having trouble pulling her shirt up, wincing when it grazes her eye. Poppy steps over to her, helping her out, she relents to her touch. She walks her to the bathroom and helps her into the shower, checking the temperature before letting her in. She startles, when Poppy takes off her clothes and steps in with her. “What are you-” She turns around, self-conscious.

Poppy moves closer, not saying a word and dispenses the shampoo in her hands, lathering Morgan’s hair, she massages it in her scalp. It felt good against her pounding head. “Let me take care of you this time.”

They were in complete silence; the only movement were Poppy’s hands in her hair. She reaches for the body wash and their hands touch. “Stop, Let me.” Poppy says softly, she stands still letting her. She backs them into the spray, washing away all the bad and starting anew.

Here it was and she wasn’t ready for the intimacy, she dreamed of it for so long and now that she felt it, it’s like a shock to her system, Poppy was offering it to her generously. She wondered how many people ever saw this side of her, she felt pity for those who never tried to get to know her, but she’s thankful for the chance to be there for her.

They dry off and get dressed, walking back, hands intertwined. They lay down, after Morgan takes her pain killers, which made her drowsy. Poppy nurses her bruise by pressing an ice pack to her eye, she hisses at the pain and she soothes her with kisses.

“So… who really did it? Do you have a fight club I don’t know about?”

“There is no fight club.” Morgan chuckles, slurring her words.

“Uhuh. Just tell me. I won’t kill them.”

“Really? You’re clenching my shirt tightly. I’ll tell you tomorrow.” She tries so hard to keep her eyes open, she wanted to savor this moment with Poppy. “Will you still be here?” Her eyes felt heavy, the last thing she sees is Poppy smiling and nodding before darkness overtake her.

“Always.” When she senses her steady breathing, she whispers. **_“I love you, Morgan.”_** She leaves a lingering kiss, she settles her head in Morgan’s chest and even as she’s sleeping, she pulls her closer, melding their bodies together.

* * *

She wakes up in a tangled mess with her sheets and Poppy is nowhere to be found. She heads to the bathroom, feeling dejected. She hears a noise from her kitchen and lots of swearing. She heads over and grins at the sight.

“Motherf-”

“The queen has a filthy mouth.” She makes her presence known, still amused by the scene in front of her.

She turns around and the words die off in her lips. “Morgan! Good Morning, I’m sorry about the mess.” She pads over to her and kisses her. Her heart danced around happily, she liked domesticity. Poppy looked home here and it was a welcome sight.

“Your pancakes are burning.”

“Shit.” She looks for any to be salvaged, she sighs and throws the black mess out, she douses the pan before it can set off the fire alarm. “So much for a hearty breakfast. You distracted me.”

“It was burning well before you noticed me.” She moves closer and lifts her so she could sit in the counter. She locks Morgan in place with her legs, she looks down and kisses Morgan over and over. She shivers when she rests her hands in her waist, under her hoodie. 

“I’ll cook for you. Stay there.” She watches as Morgan walks around confidently but somehow manages to get pancake batter in her cheek. “Come here.” She walks closer, curious. She then licks it off her cheek, Morgan gapes at her.

“You’ll get salmonella.”

“Way to ruin the moment.” She rolls her eyes, still smiling.

“You’re not going to distract me, just because you burnt yours.”

“And here I thought I was being subtle.”

* * *

When they finish eating together. She was quiet, something was still bothering her.

“What’s wrong? You’re thinking hard.” She was pulled from her thoughts; Morgan was worriedly looking at her, scared that she might be rethinking everything about last night.

“You still haven’t told me who punched you.” She looks her over, eyes glued to her face. “It looks worse than yesterday.” She touches it softly.

“Don’t I look badass?”

“Yes, but don’t change the subject.” She fixes her with a stern look.

Morgan sighs. _Sorry Chloe I tried, but Poppy’s more terrifying than you._ Before I do, I want you to promise you won’t do anything rash.” She nods.

“It was Chloe.” She turns around and heads for the door, but Morgan catches her arm and pulls her back. “I knew it, you promised Pop.”

“She hurt you. I’m going to kill her.” Morgan just shakes her head. “Let me at least torture Chloe first. I want to see her squirm.”

“After you left, she confronted me, she was furious that I hurt you. She cares a lot about you and was just looking out for you. I don’t blame her, if I was in her position I would’ve done the same.”

“You didn’t deserve it; it was my fault anyway. I shouldn’t have assumed.” She surrenders herself to Morgan’s embrace. “How dare that girl even kiss you.” She leans back and looks her in the eyes. “You didn’t reciprocate the kiss right?”

“I didn’t.” She was amused by the jealousy coming off of her, but she didn’t want to push her luck by teasing her. “You’re the only one for me, you know that right?”

“Remind me?”

Morgan wiggles her eyebrows at her. _She couldn’t resist._

“I changed my mind.” She strides to the door and looks back, smirking at Morgan. She bends her finger and motions for her to come closer.

“Oh.” She walks over to her, dazed.

She takes her breath away with a fierce kiss. She trails her hands down her chest, her other hand tangling in her hair. Morgan tilts her head and nips at her neck, making her moan.

Poppy asks her, with a husky voice. “Go on a date with me?”

“Yes.” She agrees readily, still occupied with kissing Poppy.

Poppy suddenly detaches herself and smirks up at her. “Then, pick me up at 6.” She chuckles and exits her dorm, leaving her standing and staring after her.

“Wait!” She was left flustered, but slowly a goofy smile spreads in her lips. _“God, what a tease. She’ll be the death of me.”_

When the door clicks shut, she whispers; **_“I love you too, Pop.”_**

**Author's Note:**

> It’s my first time writing a fic and english is not my first language. (From Tumblr poppysmc)


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